he is a world famous Catholic man. Very gentle and kind and loves his job. He occasionally has to leave town to go give a talk at the Vatican or some such nonsense and when that happens in the month that you're baby is due it kind of stinks, but unless he's out of town he delivers all of his own babies.
Like the rest of us, however, he has his days. Like Tuesday.
I went in for my regular monthly appointment and he looked at my chart and said "Let's see, you weigh (insert a very reasonable weight here) today...and how much did you weigh last time...Oh, (an even more modest figure)...and that was...Oh! Only three weeks ago! Wow!" And I sat there. Feeling fat and sheepish, but trying to look composed and unconcerned.
Next we discussed the Swine Flu, listened to the babies heart beat and then I mentioned having some back pain. So he took a look at my back and got very excited about demonstrating what he found. He stood in front of me and said, "See, your hip is kind of turned in like this and then your back is over compensating like this and so then one shoulder is higher like this!" Unfortunately I was not forward thinking enough to take a picture of what he looked like at this point, but insert a mental image of the Hunchback of Notre Damn. Thanks.
"And your ankle hurts too? Let's take a look." He moved my ankle this way and that, pressed it here and pressed it there and his comment: "My, you do have very large feet for a lady, don't you?"
Strike three! I'm going home! If I can manage it, fat, hunchbacked and swell-footed...
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5 comments:
LOL!
Hunchback of Notre DAMN is right!!
Too funny. Luckily you are already married, or who would want you??
Just kidding, you are lovely and remarkably slender, erect, and ladylike for someone as far along as yourself. Actually, I hate you tall thin women....
Aww, that's so sad! Don't be silly, eventhough he's a doctor, he's still a man and manlike he just can't help it!
Haha, thanks ladies!
Annie,
You are such a beautiful pregnant lady!! You carry so well (as opposed to me who gains 60 + lbs each pregnancy and needs a forklift to get out of bed - but my boys are big, so I tell myself...hehe)
If it makes you feel better, when I was pregnant with Paul and had my five month check-up, the nurse weighed me and remarked "Well, we can't blame this just on the baby!" So don't worry - we've all been there...hehe...
Did I ever tell you about the guy in month eight who asked me if I was having triplets? (I'm not kidding...)
too funny my dear. Thanks for sharing- I needed that laugh!
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